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Comments on Practice, Pain, and Posture
From the Teisho Series Bodymind of the Way
(Zen Master Anzan Hoshins Commentaries on
Dogen zenjis Shinjin Gakudo)
December 1, 1988, Daijozan
At the end of this mornings sitting I mentioned that if during a sesshin ones
practice were consumed by pain and frustration to the point that one could not practice
the posture, then one could move ones legs. To do this, one would come to gassho, but
without inhaling deeply. Make only a slight gassho so as not to distract the attention of
the rest of the Sangha and then shift the legs, perhaps to seiza position and then continue.
One should do this no more than once in a round of sitting, and certainly not in every
round of sitting. If you have to move more than once in a round of intensive practice,
then perhaps you should take a different posture for the next few hours; perhaps you
should do zazen in seiza or in the agura (Burmese) posture rather than a half-lotus or
quarter or a full-lotus. If you cannot practice your posture, then find a posture that you
can practice, rather than sitting in a particular way only because it looks or feels to you
like the right posture or because it looks or feels like a Buddhist posture. Just sit.
The other thing about pain in the knees, pain in the back, pain in the thighs, pain
in the neck, pain in the forehead and jaws - as we practice, we allow whatever is present
to unfold itself - our confusion as well as our clarity. When we allow ourselves to come
face to face with it, a lot of the tension that we hold in the body through the actions of the
mind, through the moments of our life, through our days, manifest very clearly in our
zazen posture, because our posture is one of practice, of aligning ourselves with the Way
and practicing the body. And so tension does come up, pain does come up. Beyond that,
sitting with ones legs crossed for many hours a day, naturally the legs will go to sleep.
Naturally there will be pain in the ligaments and knees as they are stretched and folded.
And yet if we can allow ourselves to feel the pain without trying to relate to it in
any way, without thinking of it as being our pain, something different happens. This is
not a matter of discipline; this is not a matter of holding the posture in order to look good.
Trying to escape from ones posture is exactly the same as trying to escape from our own
suffering as a whole. When we open to what is present, when we feel what is present, if
our legs hurt then our legs hurt.
When I practice my legs hurt, and Ive been sitting for well over twenty years
now and my legs hurt. This is not a matter of discipline. This is a matter of compassion.
When we can feel the pain and allow the pain to practice, just as we allow the breath to
practice, just as we allow our confusion to practice, allow our clarity to practice when
we allow the pain in our legs to practice it is no longer pain. It is just alive sensation.
When our legs hurt, they just hurt. Through this pain, if you have to have any
relationship to it at all, let that relationship be one of compassion. Through the pain in
your body, begin to allow yourself to open to it so that you can understand the incredible
pain of the beings throughout these six realms of existence. Through the pain in your legs
understand the pain of a body dying of cancer. Understand the pain of anger, understand
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